11 Healthy Ways to Give Up and Give In


On those rough days when nothing seems to go as planned, we feel the urge to give up, or to give in to temptations. Inner fortitude might push us to shake those feelings off and soldier on, but what if the key to true spiritual satisfaction lay precisely in what we think we should avoid?

In the Divine Principle, Father Moon explains, “Our original mind and conscience direct us to repel the evil mind. They guide us in desperate efforts to reject evil desires and cling to goodness by breaking our ties with Satan and turning to face God.”

We assume that “giving up” means either sacrificing something of value, or calling it quits and accepting failure. Similarly, we see “giving in” as an act of weakness, succumbing to our temptations and, once again, failing. While this is true in some situations, the inner pull towards or away from something is not always malicious.

The key is to examine the thoughts and ideas our mind is struggling with. Does the idea feel authentic to something even deeper than ourselves? If so, it may be the call of our original mind to “give up” whatever is not genuinely from God, release bad habits and erase them from our perceived identity while creating the space to “give in” to ideas, choices and habits more in tune with our original self.

With that in mind, here are some questions to consider. Try taking a quiet moment to think or journal about a question that speaks to you.

What if we choose to give up:

Our inhibitions and doubts

Perhaps we fear we might be incompetent or “an imposter” in our job or studies, or worry that fulfilling our goals will take resources, abilities or time we don’t have. How might life change if we simply decided to not let that fear control us? Nobody’s perfect, and we all want to become good people. What if we acknowledged that about ourselves, and each other?

Our past failures

The dread and disappointment attached to past mistakes can haunt us for years. How might your life change if fear were exchanged for hope and self-encouragement?

Our need for constant control

For those of us who panic when we don’t feel in control, what if we learned to see the opportunity toaccept God’s guidance?

Our assumptions about life

“It’s too late to try again.” “Only extraordinary people can be leaders.” “People never change.” Are you sure? Have any of these assumptions led you to sell yourself or someone else short?

Complaining and Making Excuses

Sure, life is hard sometimes. We think complaining or excusing ourselves helps, but does it really? Here’s an insider tip: most complaints and excuses are derived from fear (see above) or from a desire to shift our responsibilities to someone or something else. How do we shift our perspective into one for generating real, positive change?

What if we choose to give in to:

Being Vulnerable

Strength comes in many forms, and vulnerability is one of them. Breaking down our protective facade can offer God the space to come in.

Trust in Ourselves and Others

Whether conscious or not, we often approach people with distrust first, only switching to kindness after we’ve been assured the other is trustworthy. What might happen if we began with trust instead?


Our tendency toward distrust springs from the pain of having been hurt. Does holding onto our grudges hurt us any less? Are you willing to take the first step in embracing forgiveness?

Our Inner Adventurer

An exhilarating life rarely exists in the comfort of the familiar. Reflect on the dreams that have sprung up in your heart over the years—to see someplace new, learn a new skill or finally write that book—but for whatever reason you never got to. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Failure as Success

Think back to a time when you’ve failed and recall what it felt like. Embarrassing? Defeating? What if failure felt empowering? Consider this: the only real failure is never trying. The trick is choosing to actually learn. In what could you be failing better?


This one is easier than it may seem. When we give up and give in to the right things, those things that dwell closer to our original mind, we find our Heavenly Parent. He and She lives there, underneath the grimy layers of disconnectedness we’ve accumulated over our lives. When we make more God-like choices, we peel those layers back to reveal what we’ve been searching for all along: our true selves, and the Parent who gave that to us.

Marriage PrepBenjy Uyama